During the pandemic, I gained twenty pounds. The obsessive cycle of self-judgment and feeling terrible in my skin came back so powerfully. Eventually, I was so uncomfortable that I went back to the hot room. It was incredibly painful seeing the condition that I allowed myself to get to. I could barely do anything and had to sit down a lot. Going back to face myself in the mirror for 90 minutes with nowhere to hide was no small task. But Sonia has a way of holding you to a standard that it really matters to her that you show up and work at it until you become strong. And once you become strong, all there is left to do is just show up and get stronger.

Eventually, I was brave enough to wear shorts. Shorts! Me! I was so afraid to look at myself. But once I got through that fear of wearing them, it turned out I didn’t look as bad as I imagined. Now every time I get a new yoga outfit it is like a celebration. This is the first summer I’ve worn actual shorts in public since the fifth grade. It’s a good feeling to feel comfortable enough in my skin to do that.

It is through taking the classes in this studio consistently that I have lost 32 pounds in a year and a half. I still eat whatever I want. The levels of trauma in my body and mind that I have healed because of my practice allow me to live a life today that is free of insanity, addiction, fear, and obsessive self-judgment. The hot room gives me the ability to start from scratch all over again, every day so that I can produce art that supports my highest potential within my career, take care of and support my family without freaking out, and empower myself. I’ve also met some really wonderful people in the studio who have changed my life. Never underestimate the power of the friends you will make when you are doing good things for yourself. As it turns out all of the terrible things I say about myself to myself aren’t really true - and it is when I am in front of that mirror with nowhere to hide that I get to realize that.

Over the years in all of the cities I have lived in none of the studios have survived. It is incredibly rare to have a hot room this consistent, with the correct original 26 and 2 sequence, mirrors, heat/humidity, microphone, and podium available. I feel lucky every day to have the opportunity to be taking classes in a solid studio with the people that I love.